


The Difference (Between Lying and Not Telling the Truth)

by Pearl_Unplanned



Series: Cap_Ironman Bingo 2015 [10]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Armor, But not quite, Cap_Ironman Bingo, Community: cap_ironman, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Rhodey is War Machine, because he is still kind of a super-soldier, but without the sicknesses, not Iron Patriot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-30 01:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5145317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearl_Unplanned/pseuds/Pearl_Unplanned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an incident, Tony decides that Steve isn't safe. And he wants to keep Steve safe. But he doesn't know Steve as well as he thought. No one does.</p><p>It now has a  <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/7358143">sequel</a>!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Difference (Between Lying and Not Telling the Truth)

**Author's Note:**

> Cap_Ironman Bingo prompt: Armor  
> Bingo #2, yay!

 

            It had been exactly five months and seventeen days since he started living at the tower with Tony and the Avengers, seven months, twenty six days since they'd revived him, and sixty-eight years, nine months and seven days since he'd taken the plane down. Things had changed so much, yet he wasn't scared. Things had changed a lot in the time that he could remember. He was skinny and sick, unable to do anything to help people, then he was strong, able to fight the bad guys and save people. Then he went down in the plane.

            That's when everything changed again. He had been ready to die.

            Then he woke up.

            A loud alarm went on, and the charcoal pencil fell from Steve's fingers, rolling across the table. He still wasn't used to hearing that alarm. Tony, who had been sitting across the table, posing for him, handed him the piece of charcoal.

            "Time to get to your station, Steve," Tony murmured, smirking.

            Steve nodded. He wasn't able to fight anymore, but Tony had set everything up so that he could always see what was going on in the battle. All of their headsets were connected back to the base, where Steve would have to stay, and there were cameras in all of their suits, so he was able to see what was going on. Steve knew that he was good at strategy, and that's what he did. He did all that he could to keep the team safe from the sidelines.

            "Be careful," Steve said as Tony raced off to grab his suit. The genius grinned at him before he disappeared. Steve raced over to his control room. It took a while for him to learn how to work all of the controls. Tony found it hilarious, but was still patient with him as he taught Steve how to use everything.

            Staring up the computer, Steve made sure that each of the screens was hooked up to his teammates cameras. Everything seemed to be working correcting, and the earpieces were all in and turned on.

            "Looks like just a routine DoomBot invasion," Clint commented, tapping the camera on his suit. "Nothing big. You can relax some, Stevie, we'll be home soon."

            "I can't relax," Steve laughed. "Not until you guys are all home safe."

            His team was everything to him. When S.H.I.E.L.D. found him and revived him, they recruited him as an agent. Then Tony discovered him when Fury was thinking about letting him work with the Avengers. It wasn't like Tony _kidnapped_ him, more of offered him a place to stay, but... It wasn't like Steve really had a choice. The moment he met the Avengers, he knew that he'd never be able to just _leave_ them again. And they accepted him right into their group, even though they didn't know a single thing about him.

            There was still so much that they didn't know. They didn't even know his real name. He went by Steven Barnes instead of Steven Rogers. No one was supposed to know that he used to be Captain America, back before the plane crash. When he woke up, he wasn't sickly still, but he wasn't strong anymore. He was back to being the short, skinny little Steve from before the super-soldier serum. Therefore no one was allowed to know who he really was, according to S.H.I.E.L.D. They were still trying to see if there was a way to reactivate the serum.

            Steve could care less if he was ever Steve Rogers again. He had a family again, and he was happy.

            "I'd give it fifteen minutes, maximum," Tony added.

            "Good," Steve said. "Once you guys get back, we can all have a nice team dinner. Okay?"

            "Only if you make that beef stew again," Clint said. "And that shepherd's pie. I don't know where you learned to cook so well, but it was _amazing_. We need some more of that."

            "I can do that," Steve said cheerfully. His Ma had taught him how to cook when he was young, and he _loved_ cooking. Now he was actually able to do it without having to worry about running out into battle. He only had to worry about his friends rushing out into battle... which was so much worse.

            The only reason that he wanted to be Captain America again was so that he could fight by their sides, and he could protect them.

            "Just be ready for some hungry Avengers when we get back," Clint laughed, and Steve couldn't help but smile. He loved the team so much.

            Tony was right. The battle didn't take very long, _especially_ since the Hulk was in a smashing mood. Steve was keeping watch of all of his teammates, making sure nothing bad happened to them. Steve was keeping such a sharp eye on his teammates that he didn't notice anything was wrong at the tower until one of the internal alarms went off.

            "Steve? What was that?" Natasha asked. In the past several months, he'd gotten to know everyone so well that he could tell she was concerned.

            "I'm not really sure," Steve said, spinning around in his chair. He opened the door to his control room, which he always kept closed, so that he could look down the hallway.

            "Excuse me, Steve." It had taken weeks to get Jarvis to actually call him 'Steve' instead of 'Agent Barnes' or something else. He was grateful that Jarvis was able to call him by his name, now. "I would advise you to close and lock that door. There's a DoomBot that broke into the tower."

            "A _what?!_ " Tony shouted, and Steve glanced over at his screen. It was facing the tower now. "I'm on my way, Steve."

            "I'm fine," Steve said quickly, locking the door. "It hasn't found me at all. Make sure the civilians aren't being hurt—"

            "I'm coming for _you_ , Steve. You're in danger, and the Avengers take care of their own. You're on this team to stay, mister, and we're not losing you to some stupid _DoomBot_."

            Steve jumped upon hearing a crash down the hallway. So the robot was trying to find him after all. All he had to do was make sure the robot wasn't able to get into the room before Tony was able to get back to the tower.

            "Steve, get out of there," Clint said, voice low and serious. "You need to stay safe, okay? Stay away from giant robots who want to kill you."

            "Easy for you to say," Steve muttered. Flinching when the door rattled with the force of the DoomBot, Steve made sure that all of the screens were off on the computer and moved control over to the tablet that was sitting on the table instead. Tony had created it for on-the-go missions, and he wanted to stay connected to his team. It had each of the screens pulled up, each a small rectangle, so that he could still watch after his team.

            "Sixty seconds, Steve," Tony murmured, and there was fear in his voice.

            "I'm fine," Steve murmured, racing out the room. The moment he was out of that room, and the door was closed behind him, Steve could hear the DoomBot break into the room. Steve hurried down the hallway, thanking God once more that his asthma was gone, before he rounded the corner and headed for the safe room. In case anything happened, there had to be a room that he could get to. At least, according to the team. They were very protective of him.

            Steve slipped, hitting the ground hard, cursing himself as the tablet was flung from his grip. The bad part about being so skinny was that the moment he smacked down onto the ground, the wind was knocked from him, and it took a few seconds to regain his breath and crawl over to his tablet.

            "What happened?" Tony was _beyond_ worried, Steve could tell.

            "I tripped, I'm fine," Steve muttered.

            "Thirty seconds," Tony said, like it was a countdown.

            There was an even louder crash as the DoomBot smacked into the wall, still standing, all sensors pointed at Steve. The blond's eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to say something, anything, but then the machine lifted one of its arms and grabbing him, thrusting him against the wall. The breath was knocked from him again, and the claw-like hand of the DoomBot tightened on him.

            "Steve!" The whole team was freaking out now. Steve was freaking out too. He couldn't breathe.

            "Ten seconds." Tony's voice was barely above a whisper in Steve's ears, because panic was setting in. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't hear, he couldn't _think_. Was this going to be it? Was he going to die here? He couldn't, this couldn't be the end. Steve tried to breathe, mouth wide open but it was like he couldn't get air into his lungs.

            Right as Steve's vision was starting to go dark, something red crashed into the DoomBot, and Steve fell to the ground, finally able to _breathe_ again. Suddenly there was a lot of air, and it was all too much. The world went dark.

 

            Steve woke up to the sound of many voices. He was lying on something. It was soft beneath his fingers, and he was able to relax. He could breathe, he could think... he opened his eyes, and he was able to _see_. Clint was in a chair beside him, holding onto his right hand. When he noticed that Steve was awake, he gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

            "Hey," Clint murmured, an uneasy smile on his face. "You gave us quite a scare, punk, don't do it again. Understood?"

            "Yes sir," Steve mumbled.

            Apparently Jarvis told the team that he was awake, because Tony came running into the room.

            "Steve! What were you thinking?! Why weren't you in the safe room—you didn't have to get that stupid tablet! You should've been worrying about _yourself_ Steve, not us!" Tony said, and despite how angry he sounded, Steve could tell that he wasn't mad. He was just worried, stressed and hurt.

            "...Family..." Steve mumbled. "...Had ta make sure you're all safe..."

            "If you're going to shout, get out," Clint said, crossing his arms. "Go on."

            "I'll be quiet," Tony muttered, and he moved over to Steve's other side. "Don't do that again. You're not indestructible, Steve, you have to be careful."

            "You're not indestructible either," Steve pointed out. "No one is. And you guys go out Avenger-ing all the time. I want to help. I didn't mean to get attacked by a DoomBot."

            "It must've known where you were," Bruce said as he and Natasha wandered into the room. "How are you feeling, Steve? You took quite a blow there."

            "Feels like I was hit by a truck..." Steve said.

            "Still? I already gave you some painkillers... are they not working? I could get you something stronger, if you want," Bruce said, and he had a confused, pondering look on his face.

            "No, it's fine. I'm... used to pain. Painkillers don't really work well on me," Steve mumbled. Even though he wasn't a super-soldier right now, he had already learned that painkillers didn't work on him still. Luckily, he _could_ get drunk. "Am I gonna live, doc?"

            Bruce smiled, rolling his eyes. "Yes Steve, you'll be fine. It may take a while for the bruising to go away, and you are going to be in a lot of pain for a while, but... you'll be fine in time."

            "We brought you some food," Natasha said, placing a tray down onto Steve's lap. Tony and Clint helped him up to a sitting position.

            "Thanks guys... I promise, this won't happen again," Steve mumbled.

            "It won't," Clint agreed. "Because we're never gonna let anything happen to you again, Steve."

            "I'm upgrading your control room so that nothing will be able to get in," Tony murmured. "Nothing will ever be able to hurt you again, Steve. I promise."

            "Quit it. I'm not delicate, guys. In fact, next time there's a situation, I'm going _with_ you to the battle," Steve muttered, looking around the room. No one was looking at him with pity, and no one was looking down upon him. "I can't stay here. Not when you guys are risking your lives to help people all of the time. Got it?"

            "I want you to be safe, Steve," Tony said quietly, trembling as he took Steve's hand. "Please, I just want you to stay safe and out of danger. What if I didn't show up for a few more seconds? What if you had _died_ because I didn't show up fast enough? What if you got serious brain damage because I couldn't save you? We still need to make sure that you _don't_ have brain damage after the amount of oxygen loss that you've sustained already."

            "Tony, I'm _fine_ ," Steve said, offering his friend a smile. "Please believe me. This isn't anywhere _near_ the worst that's happened to me. Have I ever told you that I've been shot before? Several times, actually. I've... I've done a lot more than you guys would believe."

            Steve yawned. The food tasted amazing, but he was just so tired.

            "I think it's time to let Steve get some rest," Natasha said, shooing everyone out of the room. Before she left, though, she moved the tray over to the table beside his bed and pressed a kiss to Steve's forehead. "Get well soon. And you should really tell them... might put their minds to rest a little."

            Before Steve was able to ask her what she meant by that, Natasha was gone. He was left staring at the door, wondering if she knew he was actually Steve Rogers, or if she knew about the crush he had on Tony. That might put _him_ at ease, at least.

 

            "Tony," Steve called as he walked into the lab. He was mostly healed and allowed to wander around the tower without being watched anymore. He hadn't seen Tony all too often lately, and worry started setting in. Thus here he was, pushing open the door to the lab, hoping that Tony might be happy to see him. Steve couldn't be happier upon seeing the bright grin on Tony's face.

            "Steve, just the man I was hoping to see. Come 'ere, I wanna show you something," Tony called, waving him over. Steve, curious on what Tony was working on, wandered over, catching sight of the shiny metal. What in the world could Tony be working on? He didn't paint his suit _blue_.

            "Check it out," Tony said, his grin prideful as he pointed to the suit of armor next to him. Steve was amazed. He always loved it when Tony made new suits, because it was just unbelievable that he was able to create something so fantastic, so beyond anything that anyone else was able to create. The suit was bit and strong, bright blue and a sharp silvery white. It was so unlike any of Tony's other suits.

            "It's beautiful," he murmured, amazed. Steve reached out, brushing his hand across the chest plate. Smooth as silk, but stronger than steel. There was a glowing arc reactor right in the middle, with the familiar whirring noise that Steve had gotten so used to. Why would it need another arc reactor?

            Before Steve was able to ask, Tony surprised him with, "It's for you."

            "It... what?" Steve asked, not understanding what Tony was saying.

            "The suit. For you. You wanted to come out with the team, and I want you to be safe... you'd be safe in a suit like this. I can teach you how to pilot it, and I can show you how to protect yourself—how the weapons work, really. I know that you already can fight, which will be good and useful in battle. I just..." Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I want you to be safe, and you're not going to be safe unless I've got a way to protect you."

            Steve raced over and pulled Tony into a hug. "Thank you! You don't know how much this means to me, Tony. I won't let you down!"

            There was a soft smile on Tony's face, one that was reserved for only his closest friends. "I know you won't... I'm glad you like it. I wasn't sure about the colors, though. It doesn't look quite... right. Not yet, at least. There's still something missing. But I'll work on that."

            "I can't thank you enough," Steve said. He was so happy. He'd never even _thought_ that one day he might be able to pilot something as amazing as an Iron Man suit. And before he was able to stop himself, Steve leaned up and pressed a kiss to Tony's lips. When he realized what he'd done, Steve quickly took a step backward, looking at Tony with wide eyes.

            Tony's mouth was hanging open in shock when Steve backed away. Steve could feel his face heating up with embarrassment.

            "I'm sorry," he gasped quickly, looking down at the ground. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

            And then Tony's hand was behind his head, pulling him forward into another, longer, more passionate kiss. Steve melted against him, wrapping his arms around Tony.

            "Why have we not been doing this before?" Tony asked when they broke apart. "How long have you been feeling this way? How long should I have been kissing you like that?"

            "Um... two months? Maybe three? I'm not really sure. Might've been since I first met you," Steve said, shrugging.

            Tony looked surprised. "I _really_ should've made some moves before. You just seemed so... uncomfortable when I was flirting with you before, when we first met. So I stopped... I mean, I was _hoping_ , but... So you like the suit?"

            Steve chuckled and nodded. "It's amazing, Tony. Really. I couldn't have asked for more. This... is truly something else. I never... You don't trust anyone with the arc reactor. And you... you put one in this suit."

            "I trust you," Tony said simply.

            The words were like a punch in the gut. Tony trusted him. Tony was even _romantically interested_ in him. But he was lying to him, he was lying to everyone. All he could do was smile at Tony like nothing was wrong, like he was the happiest person in the world, because most of the time he _was_ the happiest person in the world when he was around Tony.

 

            "There's something I need to tell you," Steve said one day. He was just finishing a sparring lesson with Tony—he hadn't realized how little Tony actually knew about fighting, and so he took it upon himself to teach the genius how to fight properly, and hopefully improve his techniques in battle.

            "What is it?" Tony asked. He was drying his face with one of the towels, a joyful look on his face. He loved these lessons, Steve could tell, and he didn't want this conversation to be the reason why they stopped the training sessions.

            "There's something that I haven't told you... or anyone... about who I..." Steve sighed. "About who I was before I joined S.H.I.E.L.D."

            "As long as you weren't some villain, or mass murderer or anything... you don't look like you would've gone around committing crimes," Tony said, shrugging. He didn't seem that worried about anything that Steve had to say.

            "No... I wasn't a villain. I was... uh..." Steve rubbing the back of his neck. How was he supposed to say any of this? "Before I was with S.H.I.E.L.D., I was a soldier."

            Tony looked over at him skeptically, raising an eyebrow. His eyes travelled up and down Steve for a moment before he asked, "You were a soldier?"

            "I... haven't always... looked like this," Steve said, taking a deep breath. "My name isn't Steve Barnes."

            _That_ made Tony stop what he was doing and look over at him. "What do you mean your name isn't Steve Barnes? What is it, then?"

            "My name is Steve..." He took a deep breath. "Steve Rogers."

            Tony stared at him like he had two heads, like he didn't recognize Steve anymore. "Rogers... Why would you change your name? What's the difference between Steve Barnes and Steve Rogers?"

            "Don't you recognize the name?" Steve asked. "Steve Rogers. World War II." Then he had to say it. "Captain America."

            "You..." Tony looked so shocked, so unsure. "You can't possibly be serious, right? You can't _possibly_ be saying that _you_ are Captain America, right?"

            "That's... what I'm saying. I _was_ Captain America," Steve said calmly, slowly. He was terrified of what was going on in Tony's head right now. His face was neutral. He couldn't tell a single thing that Tony was thinking, and that scared him because he couldn't tell what Tony might say next. In the past several weeks, several months, he had always been able to tell what Tony was thinking. "When S.H.I.E.L.D. revived me, the serum... reversed itself. It's still there... kind of, but... I'm not a super-soldier anymore. I was Captain America, but that part of my life... is over."

            Tony just stared at him, looking confused and hurt. He opened his mouth, a frustrated look spreading across his face. "That's impossible. Captain America died seventy years ago."

            "Actually I went down sixty-eight years, ten months and... two days ago," Steve mumbled. "If you want to be exact."

            "Does S.H.I.E.L.D. know?" Tony asked. He was cautious, guarded, and Steve wished that he hadn't said anything. Even when they first _met_ , Tony hadn't been this guarded around him.

            Steve nodded. "Fury didn't want me to say anything, because they were still trying to find a way to reactivate the serum, but... I doubt they'll be able to. I just... I couldn't keep it from you guys anymore! You're my family, I hate keeping secrets from you. I thought... you should know."

            "Have you told anyone else?" Tony asked, and Steve shook his head.

            "Not yet," Steve said. "You're the first.... I've been trying to figure out how to tell you this for a while. I just... I know that I've been lying, but it was only my name that I was lying about. Everything else is true."

            "You were lying about being Captain America! You were lying about who you were, why you joined the team—"

            "I joined the team because _you_ convinced me to! That's the only reason, Tony," Steve insisted, but there was anger on Tony's face, and Tony was never rational when he was angry.

            "It's more than _that_ , Steve! It's not just something... _small_. Your entire _identity_ is at stake here—I don't think I know who you really _are_ ," Tony shouted. He was heading straight for the door. Steve tried to go after him, but Tony locked himself in the elevator.

            "Tony!" Steve shouted, slamming his fists against the elevator door. "Tony, open up! I know you're still there, the elevator hasn't moved yet. Tony I wasn't trying to _lie_ to you, I just... I'm not Captain America anymore. I'm just Steve, and you _know_ me. Please."

            It wasn't until he heard the elevator move upward when the tears ran down his face.

 

            When Steve wandered back upstairs a while later—he was planning on collecting his things and heading over to S.H.I.E.L.D., they might have a place for him to bunk for the night before he was able to find an apartment—he hadn't been expecting to find something flying directly at him. It was muscle memory, a reflex, really. His left arm flashed out, catching the familiar metal by the edge, swinging it around in one smooth, liquid movement before he looped his right arm through the straps. It was all in the matter of a second or two.

            Steve looked, shocked, over in the direction where the shield had been thrown from. Tony was standing there in the doorway, a shocked and impressed look lighting his face.

            "My old man found it a few years before the accident," Tony explained as he walked over. "Thought if I... if you weren't lying..."

            "If I _had_ been lying, this baby would've taken my head off, _easy_ ," Steve murmured, running his hand across the smooth metal. It was a familiar weight, one that he'd felt for so long during that horrid war. It was just as smooth and brilliant as he remembered it. Steve looked over at Tony, hope shining in his eyes. "You believed me."

            "I didn't want to," Tony muttered. "You don't _look_ like Captain America. I would know, I idolized the man growing up. Your face looks the same, which I always thought was just a weird coincidence... Now I know I wasn't just crazy. But now... You wouldn't have known how to catch that shield if you weren't really Cap. But _wow_ , I mean... Wow. You're Captain America. I've had Captain America at my house for _months_." Tony's eyes widened. "I've _kissed_ Captain America. You're not... I mean, you're fine with that... even though you're from almost a century ago, right?"

            "Don't say it like that," Steve sighed. "I'm not _that_ old, and I'm _not_ Captain America. I'm just Steve now. That was a chapter of my life that's _over_ now. But yes, you were kissing the former Captain America, and no, just because a bunch of people were closed-minded and cruel doesn't mean that everyone thought that way. I was against bullies, remember? That included _everyone_ who was a bully. I wasn't gonna discriminate against anyone 'cause that would make me as bad as them. Plus I fancied fellas, so I couldn't really hate on anyone else for doing the same, now, could I?"

            "Guess not," Tony mumbled. He wandered over, carefully taking the shield from Steve's arm. Steve let it go, because he trusted Tony with it. The genius studied the shield for a moment before he murmured, "I know what was missing from the suit."

            "What?" Steve asked, because they _definitely_ weren't talking about any suits at the moment.

            "It was just blue and white. It needs a little bit of red," Tony said. The grin that lit up his face was real, Steve could tell. "Then you can be... Iron America?"

            "You're still... letting me have the suit?" Steve asked, shocked. He just _betrayed_ Tony's trust, told him that he'd been lying the whole time, and Tony was still willing to forgive him?

            "Of course. I made it for you, so it's not like I'm gonna take it back. Besides, I'm teaching you how to fly it, and it's hooked up to your biosignature," Tony said. "I couldn't fly it anyway. And... and I still trust you, Steve. I was angry, 'bout an hour ago... but then I started looking through pictures, and I was matching them to your face... and before the serum, you looked a lot like you do now... Except you're stronger now. More muscle on those little bones of yours. And you're not sick. Then I got to thinkin' maybe you _are_ Captain America, so I found the shield... And look, here we are. You, me, and this beautiful shield."

            "You really like that shield, huh?" Steve murmured, smirking a little. "Your father helped make it."

            "Might've been the only good thing he did," Tony laughed, and there was a bit of resentment in his voice.

            "Not the only good thing," Steve said, taking the shield from Tony. He tossed it gently over to the couch before he cupped his hands around Tony's face. "I'd hate to disagree with you, but I _know_ that the best thing Howard ever made is standing here in front of me."

            Tony rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling when Steve leaned forward and kissed him. "You sap. Let's go continue with those flight lessons, you'll be needing them. We can tell the team later. Oh, and bring the shield—I want the colors to match. Maybe you can carry the shield into battle with you again—I can get it all hooked up, it'll be cool. Just wait and see. Iron America."

            "No way... Iron America? My Captain America days are over, Tony," Steve said, picking up the shield. "I was thinking, especially with this color scheme, maybe... Iron Patriot?"

            "You still wanna keep the 'Iron' part? Great. And... I can work with that. I'll put a big star on your chest, around the arc reactor," Tony mused, and Steve could see the inventor's look on his face, the one that told Steve that all of the wheels in his head were turning and he was planning something great. "Iron Patriot. Has a great ring to it, yes... You, me and Rhodey all need to work together sometime. We can show you some cool moves, and I can add your own into the suit. Just tell me your ideas, and I'll figure out how to fix 'em in."

            Steve grinned. "Thanks Tony. I still can't believe... you've been so kind to me. Through everything."

            "Hey, I've liked having a good friend too—you wouldn't believe how many people I ended up chasing away before the Avengers came along," Tony said. He looped his arm around Steve's shoulders after Steve hooked the shield onto his right arm again. "Let's go get another flight lesson in before I repaint the suit, okay? It'll be fun."

            "For _you_ , maybe. I'll be the one crashing into things."

            "We all have to start somewhere."


End file.
